This was pretty funny, by the way. Would love to hear more. I once saw a man walk into a *kitchen*, press one side of his nose, then *snort* the contents of the other nostril into an open trash can. I gagged. We asked him to never do that again in front of any of us.
This is exactly how I've always pictured cruises, though in ways I imagine it even worse. You didn't say much about entitled parents with ill-behaved hellions sneezing all over the buffet, though you may have been spared. The people are precisely the reason I'd never go on a cruise. Also the fact that you are trapped at sea on a floating petri dish with no way off and are likely to get Norovirus, Covid, and God knows what else. Also the fact that the "law" that applies on cruise ships is the law of whatever country its port of origin is, and who knows what that law says? Add to that that people routinely fall off cruise ships and/or disappear and their disappearance is frequently swept under the rug. And finally, I do not want to be in a situation where food is "all you can eat" and I feel tempted to overeat to justify what I paid for the cruise.
I got Covid, on the day of disembarkation I was not a well womble, had to take a week off work. But we're off on another cruise at the end of this month, suckers for punishment 🤣 that particular cruise didn't have a lot of kids, it depends on school holidays I think. I have a lot of dietary issues, over eating isn't really possible these days fir me. But I hear you. I just love cruises, I'd live on a cruise ship if I could. Mental, I know.
Some hilarious, well-deserved moments of delicious savagery in this, regarding your observations on the various objects of ire. But I'm really pleased you're enjoying the cruise. :)
Cunard is great. Our favorite line so far. We did not feel any snobbery because the entitled are sequestered in the Queens and Princess Grill sections. They also hide children on a special deck. We tried an inside cabin for the first time and loved it.
I wonder if you've ever read David Foster Wallace's piece "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again"? It was his very popular take on cruise ship life, full of unexpected observations, wit, humor, and a fair share of darkness to balance out the flavor. Yours reminds me very much of his for all the same reasons. This is such a funny story, and the writing is so bouncy and full of energy. Not a lazy line in the entire piece. Gems all around. Was great fun to read. If there's any justice among the writing gods, it'd "go viral" as the kids say
This was pretty funny, by the way. Would love to hear more. I once saw a man walk into a *kitchen*, press one side of his nose, then *snort* the contents of the other nostril into an open trash can. I gagged. We asked him to never do that again in front of any of us.
This is exactly how I've always pictured cruises, though in ways I imagine it even worse. You didn't say much about entitled parents with ill-behaved hellions sneezing all over the buffet, though you may have been spared. The people are precisely the reason I'd never go on a cruise. Also the fact that you are trapped at sea on a floating petri dish with no way off and are likely to get Norovirus, Covid, and God knows what else. Also the fact that the "law" that applies on cruise ships is the law of whatever country its port of origin is, and who knows what that law says? Add to that that people routinely fall off cruise ships and/or disappear and their disappearance is frequently swept under the rug. And finally, I do not want to be in a situation where food is "all you can eat" and I feel tempted to overeat to justify what I paid for the cruise.
I got Covid, on the day of disembarkation I was not a well womble, had to take a week off work. But we're off on another cruise at the end of this month, suckers for punishment 🤣 that particular cruise didn't have a lot of kids, it depends on school holidays I think. I have a lot of dietary issues, over eating isn't really possible these days fir me. But I hear you. I just love cruises, I'd live on a cruise ship if I could. Mental, I know.
Some hilarious, well-deserved moments of delicious savagery in this, regarding your observations on the various objects of ire. But I'm really pleased you're enjoying the cruise. :)
Thanks Simon , I was getting antsy from all the enforced politeness, had to release the Kraken.
Don't count me in with the rest of those "Dave"s.
Definitely not, you're a David :)
You are in your usual good form with this. You had me grinning. But what's up with "Dave"?
PS it only applies to UK and Aussie men. American and Canadian Daves are all awesome .
Oh it's something I've seen on twitter, a handy group moniker for a certain type of man. I'm glad it anused :)
Cunard is great. Our favorite line so far. We did not feel any snobbery because the entitled are sequestered in the Queens and Princess Grill sections. They also hide children on a special deck. We tried an inside cabin for the first time and loved it.
We may try it some time, we're lazily looking at cruise ports which are within easy driving distance of home, bit may need to try further afield.
But. Why oh why can't I edit comments from my phone? 😭
I wonder if you've ever read David Foster Wallace's piece "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again"? It was his very popular take on cruise ship life, full of unexpected observations, wit, humor, and a fair share of darkness to balance out the flavor. Yours reminds me very much of his for all the same reasons. This is such a funny story, and the writing is so bouncy and full of energy. Not a lazy line in the entire piece. Gems all around. Was great fun to read. If there's any justice among the writing gods, it'd "go viral" as the kids say
I have not, but will seek it out. Honestly cruising is ripe with writing opportunities, fuck the garret, I'll have the ocean view. And thank you:)